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Sumana Kethu

Relationship Abuse

Updated: Jun 16, 2020


At first, a relationship may seem perfect -- like nothing could come in between two people. Although most relationships start out like this, one must face reality and the possible emotional burdens that come with it. Relationship abuse can include anything from calling a partner rude names or controlling their decisions, to raping or physically assaulting them. One can suffer the emotional and physical effects of an abusive relationship both while in the relationship and long after.


Although it may seem easy to get out of an abusive relationship, it can be hard for multiple reasons. One might not recognize that they are being abused. Society normalizes harmful behavior through media and in the world in general. For example, the phrase “He/she wears the pants in the relationship” has a deeper meaning to it. In society, some think one person should have dominance over their partner in a relationship. However, this is one of the reasons a partner may not realize that they are being abused. Not allowing a partner to do what they chose to for example, may seem acceptable because of how society normalizes one person having control over the other in a relationship.


Another reason leaving a relationship can be difficult is because it can be dangerous for them. Not only can it be emotionally difficult to extract oneself from a relationship, but also life-threatening. According to the Domestic Violence Intervention Program, women are 70 times more likely to be killed in the weeks after leaving their abusive partner than at any other time during the relationship. The fear of angering their partner after leaving a relationship holds them back from taking action, because it can cause even more harmful abuse.


The two partners might also share a life together. Being married or having children together can make it difficult to separate. Shared finances can also make it hard because a partner might fear financial instability. They could also have shared friends, which hardens the separation process especially when a couple is younger. Trying to extract oneself from a relationship can be emotionally damaging because of not being able to recognize an unhealthy relationship and fearing more abuse or having to give up things they previously shared.


            The after effects of an abusive relationship can be detrimental to a victim’s emotional health. A study published in the "Journal of Women’s Health” finds how abuse can increase one’s chances of suffering from depression, suicidal thoughts, post-traumatic stress disorder or substance abuse. Not only can they be physically impacted by abuse, but also by the trauma from the relationship or difficulty overcoming the break up. The mental and physical effects of even just one person can put someone’s whole life at risk.



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